Surviving the PhD grind: 4 lessons I learned the hard way

 

All of my classmates laughed loudly. My teacher was pissed off.  I felt my face turn red and just wanted to run away. 

It was during my mathematics class when I was a 10-year-old elementary student. The teacher posed a question about the multiplication method. The classroom was silent. I thought for a while and decided to raise my hand. After my answer, the entire class erupted in laughter because I was incorrect. The teacher came over with a ruler and struck my palm as a punishment. Ever since that day, I have had a fear of making mistakes. 

1. Doing research is making mistakes (again and again).

The academic system penalizes mistakes, reinforcing the idea that they are unacceptable. As I aimed to be the top student in every subject and to get an A+ (or a 10 on the Vietnamese grading scale) on all my exams, I pushed myself to finish every question on tests flawlessly and try not to make mistakes in any answers. Although my pursuit of perfection helped me succeed in school, it cost me years to understand that striving for perfection can hinder my research.  

Due to the fear of mistakes, I often felt extremely anxious during the early stages of my research journey, particularly in meetings with my supervisors. I constantly worried about presenting incomplete plots, ongoing progress, or when I could not reproduce steps in a literature work. I grappled with feelings of inadequacy, believing I had "nothing (good) to say". This anxiety led me to hide from meetings, as I perceived my work as subpar.

Later on, I realized that keeping "hiding" from my supervisors was just a temporary solution: I can not become a researcher if I constantly want to stay in that "comfort zone" of being flawless, just by never showing my mistakes to my supervisors, and keep waiting until I finish everything perfectly. 

Research is fundamentally distinct from mere study. And doing research is different from finishing homework. There is no hundred-percent-right answer to a research question: every solution comes with a caveat (or caveats). Keeping searching for the perfect answer in every research step will stop me from going forward.

I think doing research is like playing a game: you truly start playing this game when you make mistakes, then you learn, and then you make the next mistakes. Each mistake brings you to the next level. By thinking that way, I no longer feel fearful about presenting my progress or expressing my thoughts to my supervisors. I stopped seeking validation by pursuing the "perfect" report. I know that my supervisors are there to support me, not to judge me. Now, I now look forward to meetings to share my struggles and seek guidance from them, so that I can move to the next level of the game. 

2. Research is teamwork.

When I first started my research journey, I was determined to tackle everything on my own. I believed that a good researcher was one who could solve all problems themselves. Because of that, I often spent days—or even weeks—trying to figure out every issue myself, even something like installing a Python package or understanding a specific set of parameters in the code. 

Looking back, it’s clear that working in isolation led to a lot of frustration. There were times when I felt my motivation slipping away. When that happened, I tried to do something else to distract myself from the feeling of facing that difficulty. That temporary solution could never help me solve the issue, which kept me stuck in a loop of procrastination forever, and I even started to question my ability to be a researcher. 

Research is collaborative work. A researcher indeed needs to be an independent thinker and problem solver, but it does not mean that you need to redo everything by yourself. As mentioned in the first point, doing research means you learn from making mistakes, but that does not mean you need to repeat the mistakes that your supervisors/collaborators/colleagues have already paid days, weeks, or even months to learn. Also, taking into account that we have a limited amount of time in doing research as a PhD student, and the best thing about being a PhD student is that you can easily request help from senior researchers (without feeling shy) - use your "young researcher" label smartly! 

Now, if I get stuck on any task for more than a couple of days, I never hesitate to reach out to my PhD colleagues, postdocs, or supervisors. They have been incredibly supportive and often share that the challenges I am facing are ones they encountered years ago. It is really comforting to know that I am not alone in this. Asking for help not only saves me a ton of time but also keeps my momentum going. It’s become clear to me that research is truly a team effort, and leaning on each other makes the whole process so much more manageable—and enjoyable!

3. Research requires resilience.

Doing research is finding the answer to a problem no one knows if there is a correct answer. During that process, there is no reward, no A+, no first grade. And it takes a long time. A PhD student normally needs three to four years in Europe to get the doctoral degree, while in the US or other places, it could take a bit longer, due to the programs and funding. During those years, the PhD student needs to try several research methods to tackle the question (because one probably fails in most cases) or come up with a totally different approach. In some cases, they even need to change the research questions. Failure, doubt, and confusion happen a lot in research environments. And if you can not tolerate these (not just one but many times), it is most likely that you can not go further in this research career. 

A career change also requires resilience. The first year when I submitted my applications, I received 100% rejections. Some places even silently rejected me by not responding to my applications months after the application process closed (I will write more about my PhD applications and what I learned from that in another post). Those mixed feelings of sadness, worrying about my career path, and even feeling inadequate when I got rejection emails from many PhD positions that I dreamed of, really hurt. But I decided to give myself a second chance, to reapply and be open to all the opportunities that come. At the end, I got two positions and chose my current position, which I never knew that I would end up in a great research institute with my amazing supervisors and colleagues. 

I learned that the person who can move forward in research is the one who can tolerate all the feelings of struggling, no rewards, and no clear direction. But I also learned that those are just temporary stages every researcher needs to face during this career path. If you can overcome it, your reward is the next level of the game when your paper is published (or you get acceptance to the grant proposal, observation proposal, or get a permanent position). Those are rewards of long-term resilience.

4. Research needs communication.

I imagined a scientist as a person who always stayed alone in their office or laboratory all day, doing their calculations or experiments, and never communicates with other people. That was the picture of a researcher I had in my mind before starting my research career. (I think that's one of the reasons why my dad was not happy when I said I would become a scientist).

Now that I am actually doing research, I realize that the picture I had of a researcher is totally wrong. Doing research is not only about finding the answer to your research, when you may need some "isolated" time to think deeply, but also about writing your results and sharing them with other colleagues. Even when you apply for the next stage of your career, or for grants and funding, communication is always an important factor. 

In my opinion, the ability to write and present your work in a clear and exciting way to other colleagues or to the community is one of the most crucial skill a PhD student need to develop during their PhD time. I know that most people learn these skills the hard way by writing papers or research proposals or doing mock presentations and getting feedback from their supervisors. But I believe every PhD students need to be trained well in writing and presenting. I was lucky because, starting my PhD, I attended a writing and communication course given by one of my supervisors (who inspired me in writing and communication in science) and another expert. If you have the chance or your university/institute provides that course, you can consider enrolling. To me, writing and presenting are the enjoyable things you can do with your research. 

So, are you ready to start a research career?

After years of being a graduate student, I witnessed some of my friends who used to be the top students in the classes end up quitting research. At first, I did not understand why excellent academic students could not be successful in their research. Eventually, I learned the hard way about how to do research, and how different between a good researcher and a good student. Moreover, I consider my case to be lucky because I have been working with many amazing researchers who are/were my supervisors, collaborators, and colleagues, who taught me a lot about how to do research and how to be good at research.

Those points above are my personal views, limited by my knowledge, personal experience, and years of doing research. There are other points that I did not know or did not list here due to my lack of experience. Before writing this post, I have been thinking carefully about whether I should write it because I am still a young researcher, and my knowledge about the research world is still limited compared to many seniors. At the end, I decided to write things down because I hope it will be helpful for someone who starts their research career, as myself 10 years ago. 

Having a chance to pursue graduate study for students from developing countries, low-income families, or underrepresented backgrounds is so valuable (as I am always grateful for what I have so far). Therefore, I hope that there will be no students, especially from the underrepresented groups, who quit the PhD because they do not know the differences between doing research and studying, or have misbeliefs about a research career. I hope that with knowing these points above, you can start your research path more easily and get further in this interesting career path. 

Be Brave.